Proverbs 31:10-31
Let’s give our attention now
to God’s word. Proverbs 31, beginning at verse
10. It says an excellent wife who can find she is far more
precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trust
in her. and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. She
seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like
the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys
it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She dresses
herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives
that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff
and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor.
She reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid
of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed
in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself.
Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known
in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes
linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her
clothing. She laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness
is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of
her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children
rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, he praises
her. Many have done excellently, but you surpassed them all. Charm
is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord
is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands
and let her works praise her in the gates. Amen. The word
of the living God for us. About 20 years ago, I think it’d
be 20 years ago, this May on Mother’s Day, I gave my first
sermon and it was on Proverbs 31. I was given the topic and
it was Mother’s Day. And so I did so with great fear and trepidation,
but also realizing at the time, I think I must’ve been maybe
23 years old, something like that. So what did I know? But
this chapter of the scripture is intimidating. I think it puts
fear and trembling in the hearts of most women. Most would call
this the bionic woman passage. It’s impossible. And so remember,
this was probably a wealthy woman, a wealthy household, an ancient
Near Eastern household that was large and full of servants and
helpers. And so in some way, shape, or
form, you can look at these examples, the things that she did, you
can see her character and say it somehow fits into my life
as well. Several years ago I watched a
series on PBS about diamond mining, I think in Africa, and as you
watched the show you realized diamond mining is a pretty interesting
industry and Most of what they harvest or mine or pull out of
the mines is not suitable to be sold in stores. They talked
about the cut, the shape, the quality. The gemnologist would
look into the diamond and show what was the good cut, the good
features, and so on. And so very few diamonds ever
really make it into the retail stores where maybe rings and
earrings and bracelets and other jewelry are sold. And I think
that’s the same way we have to look at the subject of a wife. There are lots of women out there,
right? But very few, even the Bible
here says, are godly, very few. virtuous and so Proverbs chapter
18 22 tells us he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives
favor from the Lord we’ll look at a couple other passages that
show this rarity Martin Luther the Roman Catholic monk you’ve
heard a lot about him on Sunday morning during the Sunday school
hour He lived much of his life as a single man because he had
taken a vow of chastity as a monk. But over time, he saw the goodness
of God, the creator, and how he created male and female in
companionship. So he eventually married a nun
from the Cistercian convent. I think he got husbands for all
the wives in the last one. He did not want to marry, I think
she was a fiery redhead, but he married her anyway, and that
was his Katie Von Bora. They had a long, happy marriage
producing several children. Their children were well taught
in the fear of the Lord and guests were always welcome at the Luther
home. He had his table talk. They always had a full dinner
table, many people who enjoyed their wonderful home. And Luther
said this of his wife, the greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable
spouse who fears God, loves, the husband’s house and with
whom one can live in perfect confidence.” And that’s really
a good summary, I think, of Proverbs 31. You’ve got in that proverb
a confident husband off in the city gates, knows the home is
well run, well operating. And so Luther and his wife Katie
had a home that was attractive to all who came. She was one who could be trusted
with the affairs of the home and Really, it was the birthplace
of the Reformed church in many ways, their home. Now, on the
other hand, there’s Socrates, the great ancient philosopher
from the fifth century. And he said, by all means, marry.
If you get a good wife, you will become happy. And if you get
a bad one, you will become a philosopher. So he must have had a bad wife
because he was a wonderful philosopher by most accounts. But what does
our passage tell us in 3110? It says, a wife of noble character,
who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. So we’re thinking of Proverbs
here. We’re thinking of a father’s
wisdom to his children. Be wise, not foolish. Don’t run
with bad company. But you might look at our study
tonight from the angle of parenting. Don’t marry a bad wife, right? I was telling my kids the other
day, I was like, look, if mom and dad say no. Just don’t do
it. You’re gonna fall in love, you’re
gonna be head over heels, you’re gonna overlook these kinds of
things, but moms and dads see things that you can’t see. I
was just kinda giving them a little preemptive warning. Hopefully
we got a few years. But if mom and dad say no, take it seriously. Take it so seriously. But also,
we want our boys on the hunt for a godly woman. The way Proverbs 31 ends, I think,
is very helpful. in that regard. So we have in
our passage the capable wife who has a high calling. She’s
hard to find. Her husband has full confidence
in her. He’s respected at the city gates.
He lacks nothing. She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of life. Now think about a bad wife for
just a moment. This passage says a wife of noble
character is her husband’s crown, but I think it’s in 12 verse
four, a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Think about
Eve. Eve became the tempter of her
husband. She led him into ungodliness.
Job’s wife, how many of y’all are reading through the Bible
chronologically? You saw the chapter this week, what did Job’s
wife say to Job? Curse God and die. What a great, wife, you can tell
she’d been to Bible study. Jezebel conspired to steal Naboth’s
vineyard and made her husband Ahab do wicked things. Solomon’s
heart turned from God to the gods of his wives, the foreign
gods. And the wives in each of these
cases became decay in their bones. Several years ago, I picked up
a, I used to, cut stuff out of the newspaper and all. And so
I used to save all this stuff. But there was an article in the
paper about a lady who went over to somebody else’s house for
a picnic or cookout or that sort of thing. And she was mixing
in and said to another lady, oh, how are you? What’s your
name? They were exchanging who you are and what do you do things.
And the one mom says to her, the lady says, I’m just a mom.
And this lady says, oh, just a mom? You don’t have a job.
She says you’re a wife, a friend, a chauffeur, a nurse, a CEO,
a tutor, a dietitian, a psychologist, a purchasing agent, a mother,
a laundress, a planter, a painter, a counselor, a financier, an
investigator, a librarian, a housekeeper, an interior decorator, a gourmet
chef, a seamstress, teacher, spiritual advisor, fashion coordinator,
hairstylist, and that list could go on. The salary is low, but
think of the benefits. love, hugs, kisses, respect,
dignity. And as we’ll see at the end of
chapter 31, praises in the gate, not only from her children and
her husband, but from the public. Look though, if you will, at
verses 13 to 26. We’ll try to zip through these and see what
are the attributes of the woman of noble character. Verse 13
says, she selects wool and flax and works eagerly with her hands. No Scarlett O’Hara, right? Can’t
dirty up the hands or mess up the fingernails. For some years,
I served at a church that had a daycare, which we inherited
from the Episcopal church in town. And it was the daycare
where the who’s who of Greensboro brought their children. And so
outside my office window every morning, I would open the blinds,
start my day at the computer looking at schedule and things.
And I would watch $80,000 SUV after $80,000 SUV drive by the
window. This would be about 8 o’clock,
8.30 in the morning. And there went all these housewives
dropping off their little children. And about three hours later,
they would return. And you could tell the evidence. There was
the Starbucks cup, the Target bag, and probably a little sweat,
said they’d been to yoga or something. like that. And that really seems
to be the American dream, doesn’t it, for motherhood? You marry
a guy who’s wealthy enough to let you put the kids in the best
daycare so that you can go to Starbucks, Target, and yoga.
And I watched this cultural commentary passing by my window for a couple
of years and thought it very interesting. But that’s not what
you’re going to see in this passage. You’re going to see a woman who
is wealthy, but her home is industrious. Most homes today, I would suggest,
consume instead of produce. And we don’t live in an agrarian
culture, but here’s a woman who selects wool and flax and works
with eager hands. She chooses the materials necessary
to run her home. Verse 14 says, she’s like the
merchant ship. She brings food from afar. Here’s
the dietician. Here’s the lady that goes to
the market. She brings home what is necessary,
factory direct shopping, you might say, but she has to feed
a household, not just her five, but she feeds her servants. Remember
when Abraham had to go rescue Lot? And here we are in an ancient
Near Eastern wisdom book here, but Abraham had to go rescue
Lot. How many fighting men did he
have? Anybody remember? I think it was like 317. So you can imagine
the household of Abraham, if he had 317 trained fighting men,
he had other servants. He had wives, he had children,
he had a house full. And so you can imagine this was
like feeding a cruise ship. This was like feeding a small
town. And so the woman was industrious, bringing food from afar. Verse
15, she gets up while it is dark. She provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls. untiring energy. Verse 16, she considers a field
and buys it. Out of her earnings, she plants
a vineyard. Some say this is the proof text for shopping.
But you see what the shopping produces. It’s not just consuming. It’s shopping to purchase land,
which will produce a yield, which will increase the household.
And, you know, you hear all these side hustles, you know, Proverbs
31 women, they got all these side hustles going,
making a little extra money here and there. There’s good and there’s
bad in it. But she considers a field. She
buys it out of her earnings. She’s a shrewd manager of her
money is probably the best way to look at it. She spends money,
but she makes some as well. What’s the old rule of thumb
for the housewife of the 50s? Pay the mortgage, pay the life
insurance, and put a little in the cookie jar that your husband
doesn’t know about for a rainy day. That’s sort of the idea. Verse 17, she sets about her
work vigorously. Her arms are strong for her tasks.
She is not lazy. She finds dignity in her work.
She has servants, but she works right alongside of them, leads
by example, not self-indulgent. not watching soap operas and
all the rest. Verse 18, she sees that her trading
is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
That’s a diligent person whose wick is always trimmed, and whose
oil is always in store, and whose tanks and the lamps are always
filled. Verse 19, in her hands she holds
the distaff and grasps the spindle with fingers, industrious, working
with her hands. in order to provide for her family.
You might swap this out for going to the clothing store, right?
Most people don’t make their clothes anymore. Probably shouldn’t.
You can get them cheaper now and spend your time doing other
things. But she makes sure her family are provided for. Verse
20, I think, is a wonderful passage. She opens her arms to the poor.
She extends her hands to the needy. She has the gift of mercy
out of her wealth and out of her abundance. She shares with
other needs. Remember the Passerby would not
stay at the Holiday Inn Express or the Hojo or whatever and eat
at Waffle House the next morning. You often found hospitality in
a home and so she did so, her home full of guests. And she
invites those who need to share in their abundance. Verse 21,
when it snows, she has no fear for her household for all of
them are clothed In Scarlet, we have a little joke in our
house. Probably about every March, we look at the L.L. Bean winter sale and we try to
guess. We try to get the kids to stand
up and say, how big are you going to be next year? Because we’d
rather buy, instead of a $140 coat, we’d rather buy a $60 coat
or something. So it’s a little bit of a gamble.
But we try to do that. And our joke is, it’s verse 21.
When it snows, we have no fear for our household, because we
hit the L.L. Bean sale and got the winter coats. And when I
was a kid, it was the Coat Factory, right? And we got some older
girl cousins, and some of the family, they send their stuff.
And so, you know. It snows, right? The whole half
a quarter an inch we got the other night. So you got your
coats. But you can be confident. Verse 22, she makes a covering
for her bed. She is clothed in fine linen
and purple. This is a woman who provides
for his home, their blankets for the beds. We sleep a little
chilly at night, and we have this down blanket on our bed.
And every time I get under that thing, I’m thankful that I didn’t
understand quite the whole thing. Mandy has learned a long time
ago, don’t ask me to spend money, because I’ll probably say no.
But she said, hey, we need these blankets. It’s kind of cold at
night. Oh, we got a blanket on the bed already. But boy, this
thing does it. And I get under that thing and
thankful. that she arm wrestled and won. It’s a good comfort
to be under at night, especially these cold, chilly nights in
the 20s. But she not only covers her bed,
but she covers herself in fine linen and purple. This isn’t
the sweatpants, you know, the yoga pants. This is a woman who
dresses for the dignity of her home. Her task and her dress
match. She realizes she’s the mistress of the home, as
it were. Verse 23 says, her husband is respected in the city gate.
He takes his seat with the elders of the land. And so as he goes
to work, he has full confidence. Things at home are going well.
No bonbons and soap operas, right? The house is going to prosper.
under her care, so he sits at his post with confidence. Verse
24, she makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the
merchants with sashes. She makes fine goods, high quality,
they’re worth selling in the marketplace. Remember in the
work of the Apostle Paul, his missionary work, he runs into
Lydia, the seller of purple cloth. Maybe that’s a similar thought
here, but people, buy her products for they’re a fine article of
clothing. They’re worn by men and women, kind of a cottage
industry, you might say. She’s clothed with dignity, verse
25. With strength and dignity, she
can laugh at the days to come. It’s been so far back now, March. Almost a year ago, I was telling
the kids the other night in the car. It’s been almost a year since
we all started to panic about COVID and where we’re gonna have
toilet paper and paper towels and food and all the rest. We needed to think about it and
worry about it. And so I can remember maybe in
mid-March, We kinda hit the Y2K thing. We went out and got what
we needed. And I think we had enough groceries maybe to get
through the month of May. It broke the bank, but it was
good to have a fridge full, a freezer full, and a cabinet full. And
I think that’s what verse 25 is a good example of. We are
clothed with strength and dignity, or the wives are, and we can
laugh at the days to come. You live a life of honor, grace
and provision. What lies ahead for her household
does not bother her. She fears God. She’s a pious
woman and her cabinets are full. This is what carries her from
one day to the next. Verse 26, she speaks with wisdom
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Imagine teaching
the younger women so that they may one day serve like her, be
like her. We have Titus 2, likewise teach
the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to
be slanderers, not to be addicted to much wine, but to teach what
is good. then they can train the younger women to love their
husbands and their children, to be self-controlled, to be
pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, to be subject to their
husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. This
is a lost art today. And so we wonder about the next
generation of women, the next generation of daughters, and
they need to be trained and mentored and shown the way of being a
God-fearing and virtuous woman. So here’s a woman who leads by
example, balances the extremes of hard work and character. She’s responsible with the blessing
that God has provided her with. So the order of her home reflects
not only her instincts, but her godliness. So a virtuous woman, a hardworking
woman like this, what does the Bible say? That’s a hard find,
but when you do, you are blessed. We’re told in Genesis that after
God created the heaven and the earth, he noticed something was
missing. He said, it’s not good for man
to be alone. And so he created a helper suitable. And so he
made Eve, he made the wife, filled the void. God said it was very
good. And, you know, we live in a day
and time where biblical manhood and biblical womanhood are really
out the door. We want to equate the sexes. We want to erase any distinctions,
I guess is probably the right way to look at it. But I think
if we go back to the biblical view of the husband, of the wife,
the suitable helpmate, working together where one is sufficient
and the other is deficient, the other is just the opposite. And we have a husband and wife,
one flesh relationship that works well together. And so I think
we find great hope in this sort of passage. But I want us to
look at really what is the, biggest characteristic, especially something
that our husbands or our sons ought to desire in a wife, but
our daughters ought to desire to be. A woman’s work can be
seen, you know, a tidy home, a well-dressed kid, groomed children,
works of mercy. People can actually see her at
work, but there’s one thing that’s super important and vital, and
it says at the end of 31, charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting,
But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the
reward she has earned. Let her works bring her praise
in the city gate. Several years ago, I had a young
fellow who he was on the hunt for a wife, as it were. And I
said, what are you looking for? Well, she needs to be good looking.
and started listing all these things, and about all he could
stop at was she needed to be good-looking. And I said, well,
you know, it’s nice to have a pretty wife, but what about her godliness?
What about her character? You know, what about her management
skills? Is she kind to others? You know,
is she godly, all the rest? He’s like, yeah, I hear all that
biblical stuff, but I really want a good-looking wife. And
I said, you know, you’re just missing the point. You know,
you beat your head against the wall, you know, with those kind
of things. And that’s what our culture is
selling. You want somebody good looking,
and it stops there. But charm is deceptive. Beauty
is fleeting. Actually, I think if you really
think of it, beauty is not fleeting. Beauty gets better with age,
at least for women, not for men. We get old, fat, and bald, but
not so women necessarily. But give her the reward she has
earned, Proverbs says. Let her works bring her praise.
in the city gate because she fears the Lord. You get a pious
wife. You take our study from several
weeks ago about the fear of the Lord, the worship of Yahweh,
wanting to walk in his word, walk in his ways, reverence him.
She knows her Bible, imparts wisdom. to her household, and
that’s what makes her complete. The godliness is the bow, tying
the bow on the whole package, so to speak. Her godliness makes
her life complete. Without the fear of God, she’s
only a devoted worker. And so, these are some very good
things for us to think about. Now, what does the New Testament
say about godliness? Well, Paul writes this again
to Titus after the chapter or so of older women or to teach
the younger men. It says, the grace of God that
brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to
say no to ungodliness, no to worldly passions. but to live
self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age
while we wait for the blessed hope, the glorious appearing
of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself
for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for
himself a people that are his very own who are eager to do
what is good work. And so I think if we live a God-fearing
life, we live among God-fearing people, Our young men will find
wives and our young women will be God-fearing wives. That’s
the great hope, I think. But we also, I can’t say we here
because I’m a guy, but we need God-fearing women and they will
stand out in this world. Let’s pray together. Lord, our
God and Father and hope and our Redeemer, we thank you. that
you’ve seen fit that man should not live alone but you’ve created
for him suitable helpers you’ve declared that helper to be very
good and in our sin-filled world the dignity and the honor of
women has been traded for the lies of the present age and we
pray that you bring us back to your design give our women the
ability to serve in strength and in confidence and in dignity.
But most of all, we pray that they would fear you, God Almighty,
and that they would be women who are complete in Jesus Christ,
our Redeemer. We ask it in his name. Amen.